I learned a good lesson today: white clothing and seven month olds do not mix.

I am dressed up today. I have some goals to accomplish so I thought I’d spruce up the wardrobe and go for the sequins and a white shrug. The brilliance behind this is that I fed my son sweet potatoes and corn for lunch. Orange puke does not an accessory make, or at least not a pretty accessory.

Sufficient to say, on the way out the door, I picked up my son while wearing my fancy outfit and thought, “I better put a towel over my shoulder before I carry him out to the car.” I headed to the closet to retrieve said towel and heard the infamous “bleh” that is inevitably followed by baby puke. There it was, glistening orange puke all down my crisp white sleeve.

No matter. I have several white shrugs. I’ll just toss this one in a quick bath of hot soapy water so as not to stain it, grab a new shrug, grab a towel first, grab my son and head out the door.

I start the sink water to fill for my sweater-soaking brilliant plan, set the detergent on the edge of the sink in what I thought was a safe place, turned my back and “splat!” The bright blue detergent is now a lovely, slimy pool a good 8 inches in size on my carpet. Brilliant.

The bright side is that laundry detergent, while extremely difficult to get out of carpet, makes for lovely air freshener. The down side is the carpet is nice and spongy now.

Oh well. Off to get another white shrug (glutton for punishment, I tell you). I don the shrug, don the shoulder puke protectant towel, grab my son, and hear, yet again, “bleh” followed by even more glistening orange puke.

But I’m no fool. The towel did the trick and I’m out the door stain free this time. Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three. Thank you, Michael Scott.

Anyway, just wanted you all to have a little insight into the glamorous life of the rock and roll mom.


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