Today’s Edition: Toddler grocery lists. This boy knows how to entice a mom (notice the strategic placement of vegetables on the list). This boy has my number…

Virgil: Mommy, I want to go to Walmart.

Me: You do? What for?

Virgil: I need groceries.

Me: What groceries do you need?

Virgil: Bread, Ice Cream, a Monster Truck and Peas.

Me: Well son, sounds like you’ve got your priorities straight.

My son just informed me that my leg hair is spiky like Max-D (the monster truck). I’m sure, in his mind, this is the ultimate compliment. However…


Phrases I have heard so far tonight:

“Mommy! I’m putting milk in baby sister’s hair!”

“Can I put this 18 wheeler in the fish tank?”

“Look mommy! I brought you a rock!”

“Mommy, I’m making a mess!”

“Mommy, can I have a chocolate vegetable?”

Needless to say, it’s only 6:45 and I’m READY for bed time.

Sometimes, no let me correct that, all the time, my son who is now three wants to relay what he’s seeing, saw, has ever seen, or plans to ever see, many times, all throughout the day. It’s a lot like listening to a techno song remix – one incessant replay of the same dang phrase over and over again thrown on top of a beat bed that’s also incessantly repetitive and trite. Not that I don’t love my son’s stories and all… But as of late he’s taken to combining everything he’s seen and done through the day into one long stream of consciousness. It goes something like this:

Virgil: Mommy! Today at church I learned that in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And it was good. And he made water towers. Look at that water tower! It’s so cool! Trains say “choo choo chugga chugga chugga.” Do you like trains, mommy? Mommy, do you like trains? Mommy, do you like trains? Trains are cool. Do you like trains, Mommy? I like trains. Do you like trains mommy?

Me: Yes! I love trains!

Virgil: Choo! Choo! Chugga chugga chugga. Brrrrrrrrrrmmmmmm Monster truck just crashed! Mommy, did you see that crash? My monster truck crashed into my seat! Did you see that, mommy? Mommy, did you see that awesome crash? My monster truck just caught some awesome air. I need to tell my daddy about my monster truck crash. Daddy likes pancakes! Mommy, are you driving?

Now, having a toddler of my own, I understand why Ritalin became so popular in the nineties…