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Deconstructing My Deconstruction

I began writing this article in February 2023. Scratch that. I began wrestling with the content of this post in January 2020, but I hadn't been able to articulate it until now. Even so, you can see that it's January 2024 and I'm just now posting it. There are reasons for that, too, which I will get into later. I haven't really shared my story. I've held a lot back and there are lot of reasons for that. But it's time. 2023 brought for me and my family some huge changes -- from walking away from our church denomination of

In Egregious Lapse in Judgment, Christian Author Includes Sex in Her Novels

Dear Mom, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. Sex has never been a comfortable topic for me. Partly because of my upbringing, and partly because of my faith, sex has been, for the majority of my life, somewhat of a taboo. Even after marriage, there were aspects of my sexuality that I could not bring myself to terms with (because God forbid a woman should not only enjoy it but... you know... want it). But here I am, writing this, knowing that people I know will read it. Knowing my MOM will read it (good lord in heaven). Maybe even

I Can Love Jesus Without Going to Church

I hear this a lot these days: "I can love Jesus without going to church." I suppose you can. But you won't get very far. If you're one of those people, don't tune out. There's something you need to hear. When I was in college, I saw a tshirt that said, "Jesus is not a religion." I loved it. I thought it was so perfect. That's right, Jesus not a religion! What a revolutionary thought!! It was that mindset that set me down the path to the version of Christian "spirituality" I sported for many years. I loved to say

June 25th, 2014|Christian Life|0 Comments

When Following Him Gets Exhausting

It has been a busy season of life, to say the least. Between kiddos, husband, family, work, worship, church groups, songwriting, and trying to do all of that while keeping the house from looking like a disaster area, I am little tired. Okay, really tired. I used to never take naps because I knew that if I napped, I wouldn't sleep that night. The other day, I took two long naps and STILL slept like a baby that night. Now THAT is what I call a sabbath. It was bliss. But it showed me just how tired I really am.

May 9th, 2014|Christian Life, Working Life|0 Comments

#ChristianProblems

Is it just me or does your inner self ever ask questions like this? "But I thought as a Christian, I wouldn't have any problems...?" "Why am I still struggling? Shouldn't faith eliminate the struggle?" "I thought Jesus would get rid of my problems. Is there something wrong with me?" Maybe you don't literally ask yourself those questions. But maybe it silently nags at you from time to time. Maybe you, like me, find yourself beating yourself up when things aren't as easy as you felt they should have been. Maybe you are your own worst enemy. I know I

April 2nd, 2014|Christian Life, Worship|0 Comments

Jesus Keeps Disappointing Me

I have a question today. It's simple, really. But I've been pondering it a lot lately. Do you love Jesus? Do I love Jesus? To clarify, in the context of this post, this is not a question for non-believers. Certainly if you don't believe in your need for Jesus, if you're not a believer, I am praying that your eyes will be opened. Certainly if you don't have Jesus, you need Him. But that's for another post. Today's question is for believers - do we love Jesus? I'm not asking this question as some sort of ploy to get us

March 30th, 2014|Christian Life, Worship|0 Comments

A Bold Humility

Bold humility. Humble boldness. No matter how you word it, those two words don't go together. They are counter-intuitive. One should cancel out the other. To the world, that is. But I've learned something pretty profound about God as I've walked with Him - He's all about surprising us with opposite, counter-intuitive, seemingly impossible thinking. When we say, "Stay. It's not going to work," He says, "Go. I've got this." When we think it's crazy, He says it's His plan. When the world says, "Your life has to look a certain way," God says, "Let me show you what real

March 25th, 2014|Christian Life, Worship|0 Comments

A Song For a Friend

Above: Stacy (left) with her beautiful daughter (right) with my husband on our wedding day It was five years ago today. We lost a friend that was one of the most selfless, kind, truly honest persons I've ever met. Her name was Stacy. She was a wife, a mother, a friend, a lover of Jesus. And to me, she was a rock. I miss her every time I have a funny story to tell. I think of her every time I pass by the places we frequented together. I miss her every time something happens in my life

March 2nd, 2014|Christian Life, Family, Worship|1 Comment

Unexpected Turns and Crazy Ideas

When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. For, “Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?” But we

February 18th, 2014|Christian Life, Working Life, Worship|0 Comments

Like a Good Little Christian

I used to be a good little Christian. I knew all the Christian-ese. I had a few key scriptures memorized. I did all the things good Christians do - I read my Bible pretty regularly, I went to church every Sunday, I listened to worship music in my spare time, I memorized popular Bible verses. I was really good at acting like a good Christian. And I counted it all as merits in my honor. I was doing a God a favor, I guess. I used to think that there were levels of Christianity. Growing up in church, I was

January 27th, 2014|Christian Life, Worship|0 Comments

I Didn’t Have Time for God

I was too tired to read the Bible. It put me to sleep. I struggled for a long time. I felt like a failure. I looked around me and saw my Christian friends reading the Bible, growing, learning, praying, in what seemed like a perfectly disciplined faith. I felt like I couldn't live up to that anymore because I was a mother. What little time I had to myself, I was too tired to read the Bible. It put me to sleep. I felt so guilty that reading the Word of God put me to sleep, but it did. I

January 9th, 2014|Christian Life, Family, Working Life, Worship|1 Comment

When God Makes No Sense

When you can't feel God, believe He's there anyway. When you can't see God's hand, believe it's there anyway. When you can't understand God's plan, trust it anyway. That's faith, friends. It's easy to see a person of faith and assume they just walk on a bed of roses, perhaps blissfully unaware of the issues around them. It's easy to look at someone else's life and say, "Yeah, good for them, but they have no idea what real suffering is. They have no idea how hard my life or situation is." But they do. How do I know? Because they're

January 6th, 2014|Christian Life, Worship|1 Comment

Atheism is Impossible (A New Year’s Revelation)

It's a new year, and while most of us are probably wrestling with our resolutions and how we are going to finally execute them this year, I have a challenge for you. Instead of a resolution, how about you have a revelation? Scientifically, you can't be an atheist. My pastor told a story once about sitting on a plane next to an atheist. He challenged the man by telling him that he thought atheism was scientifically impossible. You can hear his witty banter here, if you want. Or you can read my summary. My pastor challenged the man by pointing

January 1st, 2014|Christian Life, Science|0 Comments

Record Cold, a Dead Heater and a Miracle I Didn’t See

"The worst ice storm in years!" "The coldest weather DFW has ever seen this time of year!" "Icemageddon!!" "Icepocalypse!" These are just some of the phrases floating around social media and local news over the past few days here in Dallas/Fort Worth. It has been the coldest, iciest weather I can remember in DFW. It started on Thursday with freezing rain and sleet, coming down in droves, for a solid day. And here we are, Monday morning, and about 2% of it has melted. Literally entire freeways are shut down. People have been stranded on the highway for days. No

December 9th, 2013|Christian Life, Family|1 Comment

A Letter to All the New Moms, From a Recovering Perfectionist

Before I had children, I knew exactly what kind of parent I was going to be. After my first child, I just knew I was mother of the year. After my second child, I questioned whether or not I should give my children up to be raised by wolves - perhaps they would do better than I. After my second child, I questioned whether or not I should give my children up to be raised by wolves - perhaps they would do better than I. I went to the hospital yesterday to visit a friend who just had her first

A Spiritual Smorgasbord and Its Various Impacts On an Otherwise Sane Person

I grew up in church. Ok, more specifically I grew up in a non-denominational Disciples of Christ church and an evangelical, charismatic Church of God private school. And then I went to a Baptist church. Ok so, more accurately, I grew up denominationally confused. The liturgical, dogmatic church where I grew up was in stark contrast to the charismatic, evangelical spirit-filled church where I went to school. Whereas on Sunday mornings I was wearing robes and lighting candles, on weekdays I was casting out demons and dancing in chapel. Then when I became Baptist I learned a lot about rules

November 12th, 2013|Christian Life, Family, Worship|1 Comment

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