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Things My Kids Say: No. 016

Of course, the moment I stick my hands in cookie dough to mix it up, my son yells, “I need to tinkle!” So I decide to brave it and tell him he can go by himself (normally I help make sure he pulls his pants down far enough, aims properly, etc.). When I’m done mixing the dough, I head to the bathroom to check on progress. I hear him flush on my way there and arrive to see that he has successfully used the toilet without making a mess of himself or it. So I exclaim,

Me: Good job, buddy! Did you go potty all by yourself?

Virgil: I did! It’s a Christmas miracle!

Ah, to be a wondrous three-year-old again…

And a Merry Christmas to you, too!

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Things My Kids Say: No. 015

As with most children, there has been a learning curve teaching my son the importance of modesty. He tends to be an exhibitionist around the house. Thus I have taken to telling him that nobody wants to see his business. Perhaps, in light of the following conversation, I should be a little more specific…

Virgil: (After using a toy screwdriver on the wall) Mommy! The house is fixed!

Me: Thank you! Great job! You must be a handyman! Do you work for Handy Manny?

Virgil: No.

Me: Oh! Well then you must have your own business!

Virgil: Mommy, nobody wants to see my business.

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Things My Kids Say: No. 014

Me: Virgil, it’s time to go to bed.

Virgil: Mommy, I’m too little!

Me: Virgil, come on buddy. It’s bedtime now.

Virgil: I’m too young!

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Things My Kids Say: No. 013

There is no lack of humor whilst watching your children gain a grasp of the nuances of the English language…

My Husband: Son, don’t give me attitude!

Virgil: I am attituding you!

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Things My Kids Say: No. 012

Virgil: Mommy, can I take my shoes off?

Me: No, son. But thank you for asking.

Virgil: I’m not asking!

Me: Well, don’t take them off. We have to go to the store.

Virgil: I need to check them!

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Things My Kids Say: No. 011

Virgil: Daddy? Mommy? Addie? Are you driving me crazy?

I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around, son. Pretty sure…