Metaphor: A Follow-Up

We talk a lot about faith. We throw around the phrase, “just have faith that it will all work out” (or some variation) haphazardly and frequently. We tell ourselves consistently that there’s a bigger plan and we’ve just got to trust it.

And all of that is well and good. All of that is true. But what it doesn’t answer is the “how.” What does that look like? How does faith look when it is being carried out? Is it waiting? Watching? Hoping? I think it can be, but I don’t think that’s all it is. I believe faith is most evident in movement. I believe our task is to carry out our faith by doing. Moving forward. Trying. Planning. Executing. Making mistakes and learning from them.

If we sat around waiting all day for an absolution, we would never find it. I believe this is because we learn from our actions, good or bad. If God truly is omniscient, He’s never surprised by our decisions. He already knew what we would do and when. If you take that a step further, I believe it is safe to say that we can’t disappoint God. He is well aware of every decision that ever has or will be made. How could we catch him off guard?

I think it’s easier for our finite minds to explain the nature of God by saying, “Oh, I messed up today. God’s gonna be really mad,” than it is to try to understand what His nature really is. I’m not implying that there is no sin or that everything we do is right. I’m simply saying that if God is the all-knowing god we say He is, then He can’t be taken by surprise when we make decisions, good or bad.

And if He can’t be taken by surprise, then He can’t be disappointed. And if He can’t be disappointed then we can trust, 100%, that we can move forward under His protection and provision. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to step out on a limb. Living in fear of messing up is the opposite of faith. And if you live in that fear, you’re saying that God did not know you were going to make this mistake, He can’t fix it, and maybe He doesn’t want to.

That’s no way to live. And there’s not an ounce of faith in that.

Go ahead. Move forward. Try things. Ask questions and don’t be afraid to fall flat on your face. God knew you would. And He’s ready to help you up when you ask.

Sometimes I feel like I’m walking a high wire. Perched between what could be and what already is, I walk precariously the fine line in hopes I that I don’t misstep and fall flat on my face. I get going pretty good sometimes and think I’ve got it under control. But I always forget to factor in the wind…

The wind can be the whim of a friend, the economy, the attitude I have on a given day. And when it comes, it always shakes me to the core.

So I do some soul searching and realize that I shouldn’t be bothered by the wind, let alone the precarious high wire, if I’m truly walking in faith.

And then when I realize I’m not truly walking in faith, I have to stop and ask why. And that’s where I am today.

Some days I wake up knowing exactly who I am and what I want. Some days I wake up and the wind hits me. When it does, I get scared and wonder if I’m on the right path. Could I be doing something differently? What mistakes am I making? Why aren’t things going the way I’d planned for them to go?

Then, subtely and surely, I am reminded that it was never mine to figure out. It was never my fate to decide. I gave it up a long time ago.

And it’s this place exactly – the one place I always think that I never want to be – that is the one place God wants me to be: in complete, total, dependant and blind faith. Admittedly, it’s scary. No one likes giving up control. I especially, being the “get it done” kind of gal I am, have a hard time relinquishing the death grip I have on control. But I know, only due to deep personal experience, that it’s much better to just let go. As cliche as this is, God really does know what he’s doing… I just keep thinking he’s going to fill me in on his grand scheme for the universe.

Guess I’ll have to get over that one…

What goes up, we tear down

I’ve been thinking a lot about Michael Jackson lately. Some say it’s because I’m a victim of the media frenzy going on right now, but honestly I don’t watch TV very much. So aside from watching the recap of his funeral last night when I got home, I’ve experienced very little media on the subject. But the idea of his story is a constant stream of consciousness manifesting itself in various forms from my mind.

Today it’s a blog.
I cannot help but think about the life and legacy of Michael Jackson with a twinge of sorrow. He started off as the wonder-boy front man for a little group called the Jackson 5 in the 60s and rose to wear the crown as King of Pop. But it’s the story in between that fascinates and, sadly, disturbs me. No, not because he was the “Wacko Jacko” the media so kindly named him, but because of the sad truth that for all intents and purposes, I believe Michael was a victim. First a victim of what was probably and abusive home, next a victim of what was undoubtedly an abusive experience we call “celebrity.”
I’ve noticed that as a whole, our society tends to root for the underdog, building them up with the hopes that they will take off to superstardom. We love shows like American Idol because we think it’s a home-grown kid on the big stage taking their once-in-a-lifetime shot at fame. But somewhere between the climb to the top and the pinnacle of their career, our group-think shifts and we decide our underdog is no longer worthy of our adoration, affection, or well-wishes. We thus begin our slippery slope to tear them down back to what we’ve decided is “normal.”
I’ve seen it over and over again. In recent years it’s been with the likes of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton. But in the past it’s been people like Elvis, the Beatles (more markedly John Lennon), and sadly, Michael Jackson.
Admittedly, he was an odd duck… Addicted to plastic surgery, dangling his son over a balcony, naming his ranch after a make-believe land from Peter Pan. But who wouldn’t be odd when they started pursuing a career at the age of 5? Who wouldn’t be odd if he didn’t get the opportunity to play with other children because he was required to practice for hours each day? Who wouldn’t be odd if at the age of 11 he had a record deal and was forced into his professional career before even hitting puberty? These are things that most of us will never and can never understand. The spotlight is an endearing lure, but a bittersweet relationship. On one hand you have fame and fortune, on the other the relentless expectation to look perfect, act perfect, say all the right things, and live up to everyone’s impossible expectations.
And if you want to get started on the argument that Michael was a child molester, I will say this and only this: he was acquitted. There was a reason he was acquitted and it was because the evidence did not exist. In fact, all of the evidence pointed to the contrary.
And yet so many of us fell into the trap of group-think. We decided collectively that Michael was indeed “Wacko Jacko.” We never stopped to think that he was, perhaps, a human with real emotions, desires, dreams, thoughts, feelings. No, in our world, celebrity is not human, it is our toy with which we play until we are tired and move on to the next new thing.
But over the past couple of weeks, in light of the news that our King of Pop is now gone, I have started to ponder this anomaly we call “celebrity.” Why do we build up to tear down? And why is it that now that he’s gone, we’re all suddenly big fans again? Frankly I’m disgusted with myself for ever having concluded that he was not worth my respect. Granted. He was not perfect – that is not what I’m saying. But there is no denying that he was a genius of his trade, a lover of humanity and believer in the simple idea that the world could really be a better place. What’s not to respect about that?
Perhaps, aside from his music, his trends, his dancing, his humanitarian efforts, Michael had one final legacy to leave with us: to remember that the oddities of “celebrity” are moreso of our own making than of theirs. And that if we, collectively, can set aside our preconceived notions if only for a moment, we might just see that we are all human, we are all the world under the same sun, and at the end of the day it is what we do, not who we say we are, that leaves the greatest impact on the world.
Removes all my doubts…

My friends, if ever I find myself doubting the existence of God, I
need only to visit the mountains and my faith is renewed. And the
mountain in this particular picture is of special significance since I
have been visiting it since I was born.

And I am excited to say that this weekend I will stand at the foot of
this mountain, awe in my heart at it's majesty, and revel in the
wonder of my Creator.

I promise to share more pics as I take them so that you too may
indulge I the splendor.

Until Colorado,
The Captain

iPhones, Video Games, and Taking Risks

I readily admit that I’m a late bloomer when it comes to the world of gaming. I never really got into it as a child. My mom wouldn’t let us have one (except for playing Frogger and Pac Man on my sister’s old Atari) so I never really got into it. I had friends throughout college and even after that were all into games like Halo and whatever else (I have no idea), but I was just never drawn to it.

But recently I got an iPhone, and being the technology geek that I am, I just love exploring the app store. I’ve noticed that the top categories are always games and it seems from reading many articles that games are definitely the most downloaded apps on the phone… interesting. We’re not a very productive society. And alas, I have fallen as prey to Apple’s plot to keep us from getting anything accomplished.
Yes, I bought a game.
Not just any game… Bounce On. It reminds me of Mario (although I only have a few memories of Mario as it were, because I only played it a few times at friends’ houses growing up). Nonetheless, it’s pretty much the jam and I find myself playing it all the time.
But I was philosophizing the other day (as I often do), and I realized something: playing video games has helped me to take more risks… Yes. This is weird. I admit. But it’s true. I find myself thinking about things the way I would think while playing Bounce On. “Don’t wait for the opportune moment. There’s not one. Just go for it!”
Wow! So aside from carpal tunnel, obesity, and social awkwardness, video games can have a benefit! I never knew!
And it’s a pretty interesting phenomenon, if you ask me. I was taught all my life that video games are for lazy, non-creative types, not me. (Was this my mom’s excuse for not buying them? The world may never know…) Nonetheless, I had always associated games as such (unfortunately, this statistic can often be true, although, admittedly, it is not universal).
So what can we learn from this? Are games for the slovenly? Do they contribute to thoughtless, mindless youth? Or can they have the opposite effect? Is there a way we can teach children to productively channel the lessons they learn from the games into their everyday lives (although perhaps not their driving habits)?
An interesting subject to ponder as I grab my phone for another round…

Life has moments. Moments of fear. Moments of sadness. Moments of complete joy. Moments of not knowing what the heck to expect next… I’m in one of those moments right now. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time. But what I’ve realized is that God never opens the door you expect or makes things turn out exactly as you hoped. And I believe that’s because real faith is not believing so that whatever you want will happen. Real faith is believing that what’s happening is what’s best for you. If faith was easy, it wouldn’t be called faith. It would be called rationality.

Remember Abraham? God told him He had awesome things for him. He didn’t tell him what. He didn’t tell him why. He just said, “go.”
Go? Honestly. That’s all he gets? But here’s the crazy part. Abraham went. He just packed up and went. Had no idea where he was going or what for. But he found out along the way all he needed to know to get there.
And what did he find? Oh, only that he was the father of the Nation of Israel. Oh yeah, and that his children would be as numerous as the stars in the sky. May not seem like a big deal to you here in 2009, but when you think about it in the context of human history, Abraham fathered the nation that brought us Jesus Christ – the promised nation of people who would provide the stage for the major affairs of the world from that point forward. Think about it.
So now, I stand at a crossroads in my life. I have no idea why or that I would get here right now. I have this choice I can make – to keep going the way I’ve been or to take a leap of faith and do something that goes against everything society tells you. But see, that’s not how I want to live my life of faith – in my comfort zone.
So, God, I’ll go. I don’t have to know where right now. I don’t even have to know why. But I know when – it’s now.
The adventure begins…
~Captain